Musing About Things

The Way My Mind Works

I don't mind admitting that I have a very dry sense of humor. I find things amusing that other people just do not. So, when we rented the movie "The Hitchhiker's Guide To the Galaxy" a few years ago, it wasn't surprising to my wife that I found it hilarious. While my daughter and I (who also shares my sense of humor) were rolling on the floor laughing, my wife was rolling her eyes wondering what we were finding to laugh at.

On a whim I did a search on quotes from "The Hitchhiker's Guide To the Galaxy". I found myself smiling and sometimes laughing out loud to some of the things I read. Realizing that not everyone will find this funny, I want to share one of the quotes that I found quite amusing:

It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination. -- The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

All I Wanted Was A Coke

Maybe you have had something like this happen to you:

The other day I knew we were planning to have tacos for dinner so I decided to stop and get a 2 liter Coke on the way home from work. Walmart is right on the way, but I hate running in there for just one item, so I stopped at the CVS which is just off the main road.

I rushed in and went to the soft drink aisle only to find that they were completely out of Coca Cola. I didn't really want Pepsi, but since that was all they had I picked up a bottle and headed to the checkout counter.

At the checkout line a customer was pitching a fit about their passport photos. The lady behind the counter kept trying to explain the situation, but the irate customer refused to listen. This went on for about five minutes and didn't look like it was anywhere near ending. Frustrated, I put the Pepsi back on the shelf, telling myself that I really didn't want Pepsi anyway, and decided to run into K-Mart which was in the same shopping center.

In K-Mart, I walked all the way to the food aisle (and it wasn't a short walk) and was happy to see plenty of Coca Cola. I quickly grabbed one and went to checkout. When I almost got there I pulled out my wallet and was mystified to find only $2.00. (I thought I had more than that, but later remembered that I had left my other cash at home). Unfortunately, the Coke was more than that so I wasn't going to have enough.

Sighing heavily, I walked all the way back to the food aisle (still not a short walk), put the Coke back on the shelf and once again grabbed a 2 liter of Pepsi (although I still really wanted Coke) because it was only $1.29.

By the time I got up to the front of the store (of course there was only one checkout lane open) a line had magically formed and there were seven people standing in it, two of which had full shopping carts.

I didn't even stop walking. I just placed the Pepsi on the conveyor belt of one of the eight unused checkout lanes and headed out the door.

We had sweet tea with our tacos that night... and it never tasted so good.  

Enjoy Your Kids

I was talking to a friend this past weekend and we both agreed how important it is to enjoy our children. I think if I could pass along just one piece of advice to a new parent it would be just that. Enjoy your kids. Spend time with them. Let them know that you love them. Don't be so wrapped up in television or sports or making money that you find yourself waking up one day wondering how they grew up so fast.

There are going to be disagreements, but that has to be expected. No one said raising children would be easy and anyone who has done it can attest that it isn't. Just suck it up, accept the bad with the good and keep right on trying to be the best parent that you can be.

To this day, nothing makes me smile like one of my kids telling me that they love me. Well, maybe if they add a hug along with it.

Florida 23 Arkansas 20

A missed field goal by Caleb Sturgis on Florida's first drive started things off badly. After that, things just got worse. By the time the end of the fourth quarter rolled around there had been six sacks on the quarterback, four fumbles, at least two important missed catches, multiple missed tackles and the number one Gators looked as if they were going to be upset by unranked Arkansas. .

It was in fact, Caleb Sturgis, who redeemed himself and managed to pull off the win. After completing a personal best 51 yarder in the third quarter, he came out again in the fouth quarter for the game winning kick. With nine seconds left on the clock he put the ball right down the center of the uprights. Arkansas only had enough time for one play after the return. They tried a hook and ladder, but it was stopped and Florida squeaked by with the victory.

For the books it was a win, but there are some tough teams ahead and I have a feeling that the coaching staff will be riding the team hard this week. There were too many mistakes and too many missed opportunities in this game.   

 

The Watch

When I was a teenager my grandfather bought a digital watch. The same day he bought it he called me up completely frustrated over the fact that he couldn’t figure out how to set it. I went to his house, read the instructions and set it for him. Then, I went over the functions of the watch and how to use them. His first response was, “Why in the h*** would I need an alarm and a stop watch? I just want to know what time it is.”

 

He always had trouble reading the numbers, especially when it was getting dark. I tried to show him the button on the side that would light up the face, but every time he tried to use it he would hit the wrong button and kick the watch into a different mode. Eventually he would call me up fighting mad and I would have to go reset it for him.

 

He put up with it until daylight savings time rolled around. To his credit, he tried to set it an hour ahead, but just couldn’t do it. Not too long after that he bought a new watch. This one had an old fashioned dial with large numbers. The digital watch went in the trash can.

 

I was at my parent’s house recently and they have Direct TV with a DVR. For the life of me I couldn’t figure out how to work the DVR remote (I have a hard enough time with the TV itself). I quickly found myself wishing my thirteen year old son was there so he could do it for me. I hate to admit it, but I'm just not as technologically savvy as I used to be. Sounds like my grandfather and his watch all over again.

What's The Deal?

Okay, I just don't understand it. Every single work day when the alarm goes off at 5:00 am it wakes me out of a deep, restful sleep. I hit the snooze button at least once and then literally force myself to get up. All week long I find myself looking forward to Saturday so I can sleep in and enjoy the comforts of a warm bed.

So what happens? My eyes pop open at 5:10 am this morning. And what's really upsetting is that I was wide awake. I looked over at the clock, sighed, pulled the covers over my head and tried to go back to sleep, but it just wasn't happening. So, I found myself wandering the house in the dark, desperately trying to keep from making noise and waking up anyone else. Eventually I ended up on the computer. It would have been a great day to work on my latest short story or the book that I have been slowly chipping away at, but I didn't want to get into deep thought. Sometimes I just want to veg out (How do you spell that anyway? Vegg maybe? Who knows? Who cares? I just didn't want to think, okay? I just wanted to sit at the computer and read mindless babble. Now I'm writing mindless babble, so I guess I succeeded).        

Why can't I wake up like that during the week? An even better question, why can't I sleep in when I really want to? Oh sleep where art thou?

At the Store Again

So, flash forward a few years from my last entry. This time I was in the BX on Hill Air Force Base, Utah with my wife, daughter and son. My wife was looking at some clothing and it happened to be on one of those round, metal roll- around racks.

My son started acting up and, after receiving a verbal warning, continued to misbehave. So, I told him that we were going outside. He refused to go with me, so I scooped him up and turned toward the door. When I did, he reached out for the metal clothes rack and held on for dear life, causing it to tip and almost fall over. Totally aggravated, I tried to pry his little hand off of the rack, but he refused to let go.

I asked my wife for help, but all she could do was laugh. I was able to laugh about it later, but at that moment I sure wasn't happy. My wife and daughter still bring that day up once in a while (my daughter actually mentioned it when she commented on my last entry).  

At the Store

Raising kids is hard and definitely has its challenges. When my daughter was about five years old she decided to start acting up while were were shopping. She wasn't doing anything really bad, but she just wasn't acting the way I expected her to in public. I have seen children run wild in stores and sometimes even throw temper tantrums and fall on the ground while the parent ignores them or tries to plead with them to stop. Not me. I would warn my kids and if that didn't work we were going outside to discuss their behavior.

Knowing my daughter the way I do it hardly seems possible now, but she somehow managed to push it too far and we headed outside, hand in hand, for our discussion. She walked begrudgingly beside me and as we neared the door she started pulling on my hand, trying to get away. Tears started forming and before I even knew what happened she wailed at the top of her lungs, "Please don't beat me Daddy!" Now, I have never beat my children. I have applied the board of education to the seat of knowledge on occasion, but I have never beat them. 

Heads turned and all eyes seemed to fall upon me. It was one of those surreal moments, kind of like you would see in an old westerm movie. You know what I'm talking about: the bad guy walks through the swinging door into the saloon and the place becomes silent as everyone stops to look. Well, in this case I turned out to be the bad guy.  

That was one of the most awkward moments in my life. I felt like every person in there was going to rush to the phone and call child services. Needless to say, part of our discussion included not yelling out, "Please don't beat me Daddy " in public, or anytime for that matter.

Kids... what would life be without them?

Just Another Day In Paradise

With everything that has been going on lately, I am designating this as my song of the week (especially the first verse). Check it out on YouTube.

JUST ANOTHER DAY IN PARADISE by Phil Vassar 

The kids screaming, phone ringing
Dog barking at the mailman bringing
That stack of bills - overdue
Good morning baby, how are you?
Got a half hour, quick shower
Take a drink of milk but the milk's gone sour
My funny face makes you laugh
Twist the top on and I put it back
There goes the washing machine
Baby, don't kick it.
I promise I'll fix it
Long about a million other things

Well, it's ok. It's so nice
It's just another day in paradise
Well, there's no place that
I'd rather be
Well, it's two hearts
And one dream
I wouldn't trade it for anything
And I ask the lord every night
For just another day in paradise

Friday, you're late
Guess we'll never make our dinner date
At the restaurant you start to cry
Baby, we'll just improvise
Well, plan B looks like
Dominoes' pizza in the candle light
Then we'll tippy toe to our room
Make a little love that's overdue
But somebody had a bad dream
Mama and daddy
Can me and my teddy
Come in to sleep in between?

Yeah it's ok. It's so nice.
It's just another day in paradise.
Well, there's no place that
I'd rather be
Well, it's two hearts
And one dream
I wouldn't trade it for anything
And I ask the lord every night
For just another day in paradise

Well, it's ok. It's so nice.
It's just another day in paradise.
Well, there's no place that
I'd rather be
Two hearts
And one dream
I wouldn't trade it for anything
And I ask the lord every night
For just another day in paradise

For just another day in paradise
Well, it's the kids screaming. The phone ringing
Just another day
Well, it's Friday. You're late
Oh yeah, it's just another day in paradise

The A/C is on

Well, I managed to get the air conditioner fixed without having to call someone to do it for me. When I tried to move the blower fan I noticed that it was hard to turn. There is also a run capacitor that will cause the fan not to move, but I didn't believe it was bad because I could still get the compressor to kick on. Just to be sure I pulled both parts out and took them to a local appliance parts place. The guy checked the capacitor and verified that it was good, but when he tried to move the fan he agreed that it was bad. It cost me $100 to get the parts that I needed, but that is a lot better than what it could have been. Now it's all back together and running great. One day I'm going to take a day off and do something that I really want to do.