After the broken cheek bone

A short time after I woke up from surgery, one of the nurses came to me with a pair of wire snips tied to a string.

"What are these for?" I asked.

In a casual tone of voice, the nurse answered, "If you throw up, you have a good chance of drowning since your mouth is wired shut. Keep these wire cutters around your neck at all times and if you throw up... start cutting."

The horrified look on my face must have sparked a little compassion because after unloading that piece of good news, she said, "But don't worry about it, we haven't lost anyone yet."

Needless to say, I put the wire cutters around my neck right then and kept them close to my heart for the next six weeks. There was only one time during that period that I felt like I was going to throw up and it was my own fault.

My diet consisted of liquids, soft foods and Ensure. After a while, that gets pretty old. One night, my wife ordered a pizza from Little Caesar's for her and the kids. We sat down to eat together, me with my liquid drink and them with the pizza, but the smell was just too much for me. At that point I would have done anything for a slice of pizza. I tried to pull some off and shove it in the small opening between my teeth, but it wouldn't go. So, in desperation, I decided to eat it the way I was eating everything else… in liquid form.

I took a piece of pizza and put it in the blender. There wasn't enough liquid to make it drinkable, so I poured some of the extra pizza sauce in with it. I finally got it to a consistency that would allow me to suck it through a straw and took a big drink, hardly able to control my excitement about tasting something that wasn't bland.

It was by all accounts one of the worst things I have ever tasted (for future reference, pizza in the blender does not taste good). I felt my stomach start to heave and I frantically reached for my wire cutters, hoping that I wouldn't have to use them. Thankfully, my stomach settled down and I was happy to stick with Ensure from that point on.

The day finally arrived when I got the wires removed from my mouth. I handed over the wire cutters, telling the technician, "I guess I won't be needing these any more." He just smiled and proceeded to remove the wires from my mouth.

It took almost thirty minutes for him to get done. I realized about halfway through this torturous ordeal that there was no way I could have cut the wires off myself. When I asked about it later, the doctor confirmed that the main reason for the wire cutters was to make me feel safe. I guess it worked... but I sure felt like an idiot afterwards. 

Comments

[Tammie]

Oh my- this sounds terrible. And, you really couldn't have used the pliers to get the wire off if you had gotten choked, that's awful!!! And, then, afterwards- only- they tell you, it was just to make you feel safe, (good grief) not very professional!
Man, I bet you never want to see another can of Ensure LOL!!!

[NayNay72]

Let's see...ways I don't want to die...too funny! Makes me pray that never EVER will I have to have my mouth wired shut!

[Tom]

Despite the wire cutter incident, the doc did a great job. When my brother broke his cheek, they didn't wire his mouth shut. To this day, he still has problems with is jaw.

[Nick]

[this is good]

I've been reading these broken-cheek posts of yours through splayed fingers.  Thanks for sharing your pain so wonderfully!

I'll bet you wince every time someone quotes Matthew 5:39...

[Tom]

I didn't wince until now... thanks for helping me make the connection. 

[Isaac Hite]

[this is good] It is a pity, that now I can not express - there is no free time. But I will return - I will necessarily write that I think on this question.